recent work

person: Mariko
date: March 20, 2008
place: Asagaya

On friday night i printed 10 portraits including above (best) one in my darkroom.


“not six” by Yurie Nagashima

Yesterday my friend, Mariko brought two photo books to show me.
They were by Yurie Nagashima, a photographer Mariko like.

I suddenly remembered that one of them was the book I happened to watch in tower record before.
Then I was surprised the way I felt about the book has been changed.

First time I watched i couldn't realized everything.
Because I was not photographing and I didn't know PHOTOGRAPHY itself at that time.

Now I can understand and enjoy the taste, truly, I think.

The photo book entitled “not six” was full of love come from deep inner emotion of her to “ him” as a man, sometimes a boy, a husband and a father of their child.

(“not six” is a coined word from “rokudenashi” in Japanede, and closely means “bastard” in English.)

Their relationship was reflected to the photography.
So, even for me don't know anything about him, i felt his loveliness and close through the photographs.

Besides, all the girls gathering in my place at that time said ,

“I'm really jealous of this relationship!!!”

Even a boy of my friends stayed there said so.

That's why the book is great without doubt.


strolling photographer

Last Saturday I went to Watarium Museum to see an exhibition of Katsumi Watanabe.
(To tell the truth, I've not known much about him until then. )

He took photos mainly in Shinjuku for dacades and was called “strolling photographer”.

How cool the nickname in Japanese is!! (nagashi- no- syashinya)

The name came from his style of hanging around Shinjuku and shooting gangsters with tatoo, gay boys, dancers and workers in show-biz and much more.
According to the biography, he usually photographed three portraits for a person and got money(200yen) for them.
In the photographs, people looked so proud of themselves and so energetic.
I smelled the Showa era. and felt jealous of the time.

The exhibition consists of three floors from the 2nd floor to the 4th floor.
On the third floor, there was a corner with many portraits fully exhibited all over the wall and floor.
I hesitated to step on the photographs at first, though they were covered with plastic sheet...
Because they are PHOTOGRAPHS...!

I didn't have much time to watch and read the caption on the 4th floor, the last floor, to leave for Ochanomizu to meet friends.
I'll go there again, for the museum has free entrance during the show if once visitors pay the admission.

Every time I go to any show, my head is really fulled with much stuff to think about photography.
Watching and feeling is very important and needed constantly.

Anyway, the show was awesome.


an assistant

Yesterday morning i happened to find good info. about an assistant for a famous photographer.
Then i mailed him to ask details and finally made an appointment to meet him to listen to him about the work and show my portfolios in his office.
However, the more i thought about the application seriously, the more i felt very anxious.
Because the reward for an assistant is only 50 thousand yen per month according to the photographer.
From the beginning the photographer said there was big difficulty for person make living by oneself, so the condition to be the assistant was he/she was living with family.
I knew it was strict, i knew, but i also knew it was rare chance to get the position.
So i made an appointment to see him in Friday night last night.
But i lost my confident this morning, then i mailed him again to ask cancellation.
I don't have any confident now only because of money problem.
Making living by myself as the assistant is not easy like the photographer said.
I hate myself without confident...now. So i've no idea what to do from this spring.
Anyway i want to change something.
It might be good for me to work normally as a translator or a secretary or something regarding English in foreign- affiliated company and take photos and make much portfolios in free time. I need much more....


After finish writing above, I got a return mail from the photographer.
He said,

“Yes, making living is very important.
You'll be able to continue your photography without being a professional commercial photographer.
You can be said a photographer only if you are connected the society through your photography.
In fact, there are many photographers who work in different field with photography.
So please you just keep your photography and keep printing.”

I was really touched and moved to tears.

Now ill find my way.

I really appreciate his words.
I'll keep in mind and never forget, never....